Monday, 30 June 2014

Politicians in a Nut-shell

David Cameron asked the Queen, “Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient commonwealth and government? Are there any tips you can give me?”
 
“Well,” said the Queen, “the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people.”
 
David Cameron then asked, “But how do I know if the people around me are really intelligent?”
 
The Queen took a sip of tea. “Oh, that's easy; you just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle, watch me and listen.”  The Queen pushed a button on her intercom and said, “Please send Prince Charles in here, would you?”

Prince Charles walked into the room and said, “Yes, Mother?”
 
The Queen smiled and said to Charles, “Answer me this please Charles. Your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it”"
 
Without pausing for a moment, Prince Charles answered “That would be me.”
 
“Yes, very good!” said the Queen.
 
“Ah ha  I get it,” said David,  “thank you Ma'am.” And in a great rush he left.
 
Cameron went back to Parliament. He  decided to ask Nick Clegg the same question. “Nick, answer this for me.  Your mother and your father have a child.  It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?”
 
“I'm not sure,” said Clegg. And then in True Nick Clegg style he went on to say. “Let me get back to you on that one.”

He went to his advisors and asked everyone, but none could give him an answer. Frustrated, Nick went to the men's lavatory, and found Quasimodo in there.  Clegg went up to
Quasimodo and asked, “Bell Ringer, see if you can answer this question.”
 
“Yes Nick,” replied the Lumpy One.
 
“Your mother and father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?”
 
Quasimodo immediately answered, “That’s easy, it’s me!”
 
Clegg grinned, and said, “Good answer Ugly Humped One, I see it all now!”  
 
Clegg then, went back to find Cameron and said to him; “David, I did some research, and I have the answer to that riddle.  If your mother and father have a child who is not your brother or your sister, the Child is
Quasimodo!”
 
Cameron went red in the face, got up, stomped over to Clegg, and angrily yelled into his face, “No! You bloody idiot; it’'s Prince Charles!”

. . . AND THAT MY FRIENDS IS PRECISELY WHY nothing rings a bell with politicians!