Penn letters, F OFF

Sean Penn accuses Britain of 'colonialism' over Falklands

Sean Penn has accused Britain of colonialism and urged the government to open negotiations with Argentina over the Falkland Islands.  

American, famous and highly insultingly stupid.  On behalf of my dead comrades, Senor Penn, your allies lost any rights to the Falklands when the British buried their dead.  It is now hallowed soil, so go and get syphilis off your right hand. 

Mass murder in Paradise remembered

THE VISCOUNT ‘UMNIATI’
Flight RH 827
Pilots
Captain Jan Andre du Plessis, 50
First Officer Michael Thomas Moolman, 37

Air Hostesses
Kathryn Jan Creigh-Smith, 29
Caroline Lynette du Chemin, 21
Regina Chigwada, 23
Passengers
Mrs Lynnette Ballentyne, 25
Mr Arthur Bensusan, 66
Mrs Brenda Betts, 36
Mark Betts, 11
Russell Betts, 9
Mrs Annette Billington, 35
Miss Martha Blignaut, 37
Mr Desmond Boyd, 53
Mrs Gladys Boyd, 49
Noel Boyd, 26
Ian Boyd, 25
Andrea Boyd, 16
Leonie Boyd, 14
Mr George Dardagan, 44
Mrs Ursula Dardagan, 47
Miss Margaret Davies, 35
Francis Deleplanque, 50
Mrs Pauline Delport, 26
Mr Ian Dempsey, 34
Mr Bertrand De Rham, 27
Mr Jules Descampe, 67
Mrs Adele Descampe, 66 

plus many more

With thanks to contributors of Facebook, Rhodesia Viscount Disaster pages.  It will mean nothing to others that I had tea with Jan and his wife on several occasions at their home in Salisbury.  I wonder what ever happened to his children?

Ranger's Daniel Hannan at CPAC 2012

Celtic reaction to losing Deep Fried Mars bars

Because of mice a chip shop in the Capital has been closed by the council until its cleaned up. Gotta love the reaction -

Livingstone on his political POOFie.

Ken branded 'a vulgar embarrassment' in new gay storm

Craig Woodhouse, Political Reporter
10 Feb 2012

Ken Livingstone was engulfed in a fresh row over "offensive" comments about homosexuality today after claiming gay bankers would have their penises cut off in Dubai.

There were calls for Labour leader Ed Miliband to disown the party's London mayoral candidate over the comments, made to dismiss claims that bankers could flee London for the Gulf. "A gay banker would get his penis cut off in Dubai," Mr Livingstone said.

Earlier this week he said the Tory Party was "riddled" with gay and lesbian people.
Dubai diplomatic sources called the latest claim "ridiculous", but there was no official comment from the Gulf state, where homosexuality is illegal.

Gay Tory minister Alan Duncan said: "He is divisive, vulgar, and an embarrassment to his party and the country."

He's LUCKY he is not Lieber in the NW of Old England.  The corridors of powder is full of them, and they are all HEROES.  Deep throated masculine guffaw.

Money down the drain?

Richard Benyon (Parliamentary Under Secretary of State (Natural Environment and Fisheries), Environment, Food and Rural Affairs; Newbury, Conservative)

The remuneration and bonus scheme for the chief executive and members of the Ofwat executive team are set in an appropriate and transparent manner in line with arrangements for other members of the senior civil service (SCS). This means that they are all paid at SCS pay bands 1 (from £58,200 to £117,800) or 2 (£82,900 or £162,500).
The arrangements for pay and bonuses are set out in the senior teams' contracts and subject to annual review by the Ofwat Remuneration Committee in line with awards recommended by the Senior Salaries Review Body. Each permanent member of the executive team participates in a bonus scheme, which is also in line with the Senior Salaries Review Body recommendations. The non-consolidated and non-pensionable bonus is paid on the individual's performance and is only awarded to the top 25% of SCS performers. Bonuses are also capped at £10,000 for pay band 1 and £12,500 for pay band 2.
The remuneration and bonuses of the Ofwat executive team are published in Ofwat's annual report and accounts, which are audited and laid before Parliament each year. These details are also published on the Ofwat website.

Teaching Maths in recent times

1. Teaching Maths In 1970
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100…
His cost of production is 4/5 of the price.
What is his profit?
2. Teaching Maths In 1980
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is 80% of the price.
What is his profit?

3. Teaching Maths In 1990
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is £80.
How much was his profit?

4. Teaching Maths In 2000 A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is £80 and his profit is £20.
Your assignment: Underline the number 20.
5. Teaching Maths In 2005
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands.
Your assignment: Discuss how the birds and squirrels might feel as the logger cut down their homes just for a measly profit of £20.
6. Teaching Maths In 2009
A logger is arrested for trying to cut down a tree in case it may be offensive to Muslims or other religious groups not consulted in the application for the felling license. He is also fined a £100 as his chainsaw is in breach of Health and Safety legislation as it deemed too dangerous and could cut something. He has used the chainsaw for over 20 years without incident however he does not have the correct certificate of competence and is therefore considered to be a recidivist and habitual criminal. His DNA is sampled and his details circulated throughout all government agencies. He protests and is taken to court and fined another £100 because he is such an easy target.

When he is released he returns to find Gypsies have cut down half his wood to build a camp on his land. He tries to throw them off but is arrested, prosecuted for harassing an ethnic minority, imprisoned and fined a further £100. While he is in jail again the Gypsies cut down the rest of his wood and sell it on the black market for £100 cash. They also have a departure BBQ of squirrel and pheasant and leave behind several tonnes of rubbish and asbestos sheeting.

The forester on release is warned that failure to clear the fly tipped rubbish immediately at his own cost is an offence. He complains and is arrested for environmental pollution, breach of the peace and invoiced £12,000 plus VAT for safe disposal costs by a regulated government contractor.

Your assignment: How many times is the logger going to have to be arrested and fined before he realizes that he is never going to make £20 profit by hard work, give up, sign onto the dole and live off the state for the rest of his life?
7. Teaching Maths In 2010
A logger doesn’t sell a lorry load of timber because he can’t get a loan to buy a new lorry because his bank has spent all his and their money on a derivative of securitized debt related to sub-prime mortgages in Surrey and lost the lot, with only some government money left to pay a few million-pound bonuses to their senior directors and the traders who made the biggest losses.

The logger struggles to pay the £1,200 road tax on his old lorry. However, as it was built in the 1970s it no longer meets the emissions regulations and he is forced to scrap it.

Some Bulgarian loggers buy the lorry from the scrap merchant and put it back on the road. They undercut everyone on price for haulage! send their cash back home, while claiming unemployment for themselves and their relatives. If questioned they speak no English and it is easier to deport them at the governments expense. Following their holiday back home they return to the UK with different names and fresh girls and start again. The logger protests, is accused of being a bigoted racist and as his name is on the side of his old lorry he is forced to pay £1,500 registration fees as a gang master. < BR>
The Government borrows more money to pay more to the bankers as bonuses are not cheap. The parliamentarians feel they are missing out and claim the difference on expenses and allowances.
You do the maths.

8. Teaching Maths 2017
أ المسجل تبيع حموله شاحنة من الخشب من اجل 100 دولار. صاحب تكلفة
الانتاج 80 من الثمن. ما هو الربح له

RM recruiting officer in town

The Earl of Wessex is visiting Lancashire, 60 years to the day since his mother, the Queen, acceded to the throne.

On Tuesday, his engagements will take him to north Lancashire and Blackpool.

He will plant an oak tree at St Margaret's Church of England Primary School, Hornby, to officially mark the beginning of Lancashire's Diamond Jubilee celebrations.

Later he will tour Blackpool Pleasure Beach, and open the resort's new wedding chapel on the B&Q's promenade.  If he has time he will go and dig up former councillors to ask their opinions of the Gayest places to eat?  One Old Old Bootneck was heard to guffaw, "Don't ask me, I'm strictly a Rum and Baccy man!  I stopped munching when the NHS stopped paying for my teeth."

The Lord Lieutenant of Lancashire, Lord Charles Shuttleworth, who is hosting the visit, said it was "going to be a very exciting year".  Recruitment will outdo our capacity to train mine detectors of the Afghan National Irish Gurning Units.

"The visit gives tremendous encouragement to people who otherwise might not get recognition for what they're doing," he added.  "Like the former councillors with multiple bank accounts and disposed of wives."  He added it might be beneficial if he bought some of this reasonably priced property as he will be bring a couple of quid with him - unless it's all been reserved?

NB He will not be opening the new Royal Marine Recruiting Offices.  The Captain General, Royal Marines, has been told by his misses not to let the "little disappointment" closer than the Council's wife swapping group.  With a bit of luck there's still a colour TV left for Mater!

Next Russian Elections

Guy Fawkes would LOVE this!?!?

At least it's more Democratic than the FARCE we endure in England.

2011 Census

2011 CENSUS

 Can you believe it... they sent my Census form back!
 
 In response to the question: "Do you have any dependants?" I replied:
 
2.1 million illegal immigrants
 1.1 million crack heads
 2.4 million unemployable people
 901 thousand people in over 85 prisons
 and 565 idiots in Parliament."
 
 Apparently, this was NOT an acceptable answer.
 
 Who did I miss ??????