Cameron to fly 50 Syrian families directly into Miss Seaweed's realm of Rothesay.
The local Defence Regiment will be reformed as the Argyll & Syrian Light Suicide Corps. No Prods allowed. Kafflicks and Non Kaffiris only.
So much for the race laws! Or was that Alan Wells's 100mtrs Gold Medal?
The local George outlet reports an anticipated sell out of Burkhas and Bomber Jackets. The Reverand Ian from Paisley says he'll welcome them all with the Scots emblem, the Thistle up th' kilts!