Friday, 28 June 2013

Vet Sunday in Blackpuddle


 Blackpuddle Clowncil has permitted a huge parade for Vets Sunday, to be held on Monday 31st June.  Banners will be flown and Regiments from ancient parts of the New Commonwealth will partake.  The Rwanda Mounted Assagais will be having an eat inn of Beans - humane beens - but their master display will be a massacre in, around, over and under the Clowncil offices.  Special permission is being sought for the Mounted Zebra Squadron to demonstrate their historic ear, nose and lip piercings as Witch Doctors perform facial scarring on anyone who does not donate to the Robert Mugabe Memorial Funds.  Bacon Sandwich stalls are to be closed as not to antagonise the cowards in the Clowncil who would rather placate child molesterers than let the vets deal with them.  It only takes two house bricks to solve their problem.

To start the parade, a group from the Micronesia Amazon Yodelling Ensemble will herald all Walters into files of trebbul 6.  Local dignitaries have given permission for Sq Ldr Pedr Vyles to give out badges for all those who never saw action and to be able to suck on the bones left over from the feast of the Rwanda Mounted Assagais (RMA). 
Collectors will be out in Force to rattle tins under the noses of the public as the Paracute Regiment jump from the derelict trams blocking the entrance to the War Memorial, resplendent in their garish Pink Berets, parasols replacing chute silks and the local MP waving his favourite garter from his home on Bugis Street, Singapore.  The Parade Marshall will be holding Mincing Lessons up and down Queen Street as the Royal Regiment of 1 Legged Lesbians hop in and out the custody suite in the New Politically Correct Police Boutique.

Dress of the day is chiffon, lace and black stockings.

Prayers will be held in Jedhi and Hymn Sheets printed exclusively in Braille.

The annual showing of the play Pygmalian has to go underground as it has been learned that Elisa Doolittle has been married off to her cousin and her father has drank the endowment in Yates Swine Lodge and Professor Huggins has already had carnal knowledge of her and claims sanctuary in the local masque until paedophilia is made compulsory.  Otherwise, have a NICE day.  Stone all Whistleblowers and prey that the ECHR reprieves that War Criminal Tony Bliar.