Sunday 8 January 2012

Someone left the "L" out of Daring

Royal Navy sends its mightiest ship to take on the Iranian show of force in the Gulf 

 

Iran has threatened to block the Strait of Hormuz, which served as the conduit for 17 millions barrels of oil every day last year.
Naval commanders believe the deployment of HMS Daring, a Type 45 destroyer, will send a significant message to the Iranians because of the firepower and world-beating technology carried by the warship.
Philip Hammond, the Defence Secretary, has publicly warned Iran that any blockade of the Strait of Hormuz would be "illegal and unsuccessful".
The Daily Telegraph understands that HMS Daring has been fitted with new technology that will give it the ability to shoot down any missile in Iran's armoury. The £1 billion destroyer, which will leave Portsmouth next Wednesday, also carries the world's most sophisticated naval radar, capable of tracking multiple incoming threats from missiles to fighter jets.
Daring, with its crew of 190, will transit through the Suez Canal and enter the Gulf later this month to replace the Type 23 frigate currently on station.

The Islamic Guard has started training on how to treat prisoners once they have captured the illustrious WARSHIP.  They plan to do this once the Navigation Officer has smudged her lips stick and has the mascara  in her eyes wiped away as she puts the boat aground on the rocks off the Needles.  There is to be no gunnery practice until the crew return from a run ashore in Edinburgh where the crew went 8 months ago to sample the waters before the Newly Independent Nation outlawed whisky drinking.  Her All Black soccer players have been confined to ship until after the Twitters stop accusing them of being rampant blond whore abusers and want it known that i/ they are rugby players, ii/ they were not whores but a redundant television sales executives on a courtesy visit from the RN School of Dancing on Union street, iii/ if they can't take their Ipods they're not going anyway.  
There is fury amongst the crew as they were told they would have to uphold the recent traditions of RN frigates in the region and they would practice waving the Bootneck attachment off as it is rowed into ignominy as guests of Ayatollah Cantreadorritehey.

Good speed.  Go with the blessing and thoughts of all Veterans.  Return safe.

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