Hmmmm. Well. Never heard it put better

HAVEN'T HEARD IT PUT BETTER!

 

The son of an illegal immigrant asks his dad, "Dad, what's democracy?"

"Well, son, that's when the British work and we get all the benefits from it!"

"But Dad, aren't the people unhappy about that?"

"Sure they are son, but that's called 'racism.'"

Make certain you fill in your return accurately

Wanted by the Blackpool rate payers as their New Chief Executive.  If you know this HERO please write to the Recruiting Officer, The Sweet Shop, Brunswick Square Loo, last stall on the left.  Give a little shake to get memory to work.

Think before you Vote

Before the World sleepwalks into the next elections, just remind yourselves of what you are voting for.  If this doesn't frighten you, then you are the problem!

Fiscal Cliff explained

It's only words...

A 2013 version much improved.  Definitions as evolved.

 A thought for the new year  !!

 SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then
throws the milk away

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy
grows.
You sell them and retire on the income

ROYAL BANK OF  SCOTLAND (VENTURE) CAPITALISMYou have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption
for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

A GREEK CORPORATION
You have two cows. You borrow lots of euros to build barns, milking sheds, hay stores, feed sheds, dairies, cold stores, abattoir, cheese unit and packing sheds.
You still only have two cows.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and market it worldwide.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION

                              You have two cows.
                              Both are mad.

                             AN IRAQI CORPORATION
                             Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
                             You tell them that you have none.
                             No-one believes you, so they bomb the ** out of you and invade your country.
                             You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.

                            AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
                            You have two cows.
                            Business seems pretty good.
                           You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

                           A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
                          You have two cows.
                          The one on the left looks very attractive...

Where our pensions go

 POLITICIANS PLEASE  PAY ATTENTION !

FORWARDING THIS TO  EVERYBODY  !!!

‘Entitlement’ my arse, I paid  good money for my State Pension and other benefits!!!!  Just because they borrowed that money, doesn't make my  benefits some kind of charity or handout !! Gold  plated MP pensions and Civil Service Government  benefits, aka free healthcare, outrageous retirement  packages, 67 paid holidays, 20 weeks paid vacation,  unlimited paid sick days, now that's welfare, and they  have the nerve to call me a 'greedy pensioner' and my  retirement, an ‘entitlement’ !!!!!!.....scroll  down................  
What the HELL's wrong with  us??? 
WAKE UP  BRITAIN !!!!

Someone please tell  me what the HELL's wrong with all the people that run  this country!!!!!!  
We're "broke" & can't help  our own Pensioners, Veterans, Orphans, Homeless  etc.,???????????
but spent 1.2 billions  of £££'s for G-20 events!
In the last few  months we have provided aid to India, Greece and  Turkey . And now Afghanistan , Pakistan ...... home of  bin Laden. Literally, BILLIONS of  POUNDS!!!

Our retirees living on a  'fixed income', receive no aid nor do they get any  breaks while our government and religious  organisations pour Hundreds of Billions of ££££££'s  and tons of food to foreign  countries!

 They call Old Age Security and  Healthcare an entitlement even though most of us have  been paying for it all our working lives and  now when it’s time for us to collect, the government  is running out of money. Why did the government borrow  from it in the first place?  We have hundreds of adoptable  children who are shoved aside to make room for the  adoption of foreign orphans.  
GREAT BRITAIN: a  country where we have homeless without shelter,  children going to bed hungry, hospitals being closed,  average income families who can't afford dental care,  elderly going without 'needed' meds and having to  travel 100s of miles for medical care with no  reimbursement of cost, vehicles we can't afford fuel  for, lack of affordable housing, and mentally ill  without treatment - etc., etc.  
YET.....They have a 'benefit' for the  people of foreign countries...ships and planes lining  up with food, water, tents, clothes, bedding, doctors,  and medical supplies.  
Imagine if the *GOVERNMENT*  gave 'US' the same support they give to other  countries. 
Sad isn't  it?
99% of people  won't have the guts to forward this.
I'm one of  the 1% -- I Just Did.  And I put it on the Net.

High Fashion in Muslim Lands

Yeah--their feelings are hurt by a video--right!

 High Fashion in the Mosque

That's OK, just don't  burn or deface their  Q'ran!

We're constantly clubbed on the head with the claim that the Muslim world condemns 9/11, abhors 9/11, etc.  - Yet every day shirts like this are mass produced, marketed and sold by streetvenders throughout the Middle East and it's simply OK. 

The mass-murder of 9-11 is a celebrated event by millions of people.

Payday Loans and more

January focus on..... Dear 'Notareargunner' Payday Loans Campaign Stella Creasey, Labour MP for Walthamstow, is a leading supporter of the Sharkstoppers campaign against the payday loan industry. The new Financial Conduct Authority will have  ability to cap the costs of credit, but not until April 2014. In this article she argues that, in the meantime, much more needs to be done by the OFT to limit the damage and misery caused by these companies and asks for your help. "In 2013 average household energy bills are expected to reach an all-time high of £1300. A third of us are experiencing a second successive freeze in wages and the cost of food and travel continues to rise. Little wonder it was reported four million of us intended to take out a payday loan just to cover the cost of Christmas. Across the country companies offering loans with interest rates of 4,000% or more are now operating in every community, lending on every high street and online. With one in three of these loans being used to pay off another payday loan, all too often this form of credit creates a spiral of debt. Many end up borrowing more to pay off their original debt and still can’t make ends meet. Research shows half of all borrowers who have taken out a payday loan have taken out credit that it turned out they just couldn’t repay and 57% have missed a payment, so incurring further charges they can’t afford. Despite the problems they cause, surveys show five million Britons expect to have to use such credit to cover their everyday living costs in 2014. With further cuts due to tax credits, the numbers relying on this toxic form of finance could rise beyond this peak; research shows ten million Britons feel financially precarious. For two years Sharkstoppers campaigners have been calling for the Government to learn from other countries. Most nations have tackled the problems these firms cause by capping the costs of credit, so limiting the debts that consumers can get into when borrowing in this way. Yet until recently the British Government resisted taking action, instead relying on these companies themselves to stick to their own voluntary codes of conduct. A recent report by the Office of Fair Trading delivered a damning indictment of this, showing how badly these firms treat British consumers. The National Audit Office’s own work showed the failure to address the problems credit market cost UK consumers £450m last year. Thanks to the Sharkstoppers campaign the Government has finally agreed to give the new Financial Conduct Authority the power to limit the prices consumer credit companies can charge. However, this power won’t come into force until 2014. Without action now, and with the rising costs households will face, 2013 could be a window of opportunity for these so called legal loan sharks. To prevent this Sharkstoppers is now calling on the OFT to strengthen the ‘irresponsible lending guidance' for these firms in 2013. The guidelines the OFT brings in can set the standards for the new FCA and send the industry a clear message about what they can do in the UK. Sharkstoppers wants this code to cover a number of issues, starting with setting out what it considers an irresponsible price of credit and so the cap that there should be on its cost. The problems with this lending are not only caused by the high costs associated with it. Some borrowers can end up taking out multiple loans, and many lenders make a virtue of the speed and limits of their credit checks. To make lenders responsible for the amount they offer and the consequences of borrowing, the OFT should require all lenders to report all loans made to a real time credit register at the very moment they provide the loan. So too, the OFT should demand a reform in the way lenders use continuous payment authorities (CPAs) to address the concerns about fraud and debt this form of payment has created. You can find out how you can help this campaign, along with a sample letter to send to your MP about the role of the OFT at: www.workingforwalthamstow.org.uk. The success of Sharkstoppers so far shows we can make a difference against this well funded industry when we work together, as reports and research continue to show these companies targeting vulnerable consumers in Britain. We must be vigilant in keeping up the fight to end legal loan sharking in 2013." If you want more help, advice or even just some moral support then come to The Consumer Action Group website where we offer help on pretty well every consumer problem COMPLETELY FREE.   As readers will know, I am not a supporter of Labour or many of their ludicrous ideas, but this one has my one hundred percent backing.  If readers have read the GAZJET LATEST and followed some of the moronic comments, then this sensible contribution to daily matters is heartily welcomed. Now back to Blackpool. One matter that came across my desk was a disabled resident of skint Blackpool who the local Occupational Therapist reckoned was not in need of a stairlift even though the 70 year old had recently had two strokes and is temporarily confined to hospital care; when other agencies offered to install and pay for the upkeep of such a necessary aid, Blackpool Council dragged their feet and obstructed a charity from assisting, because they are the landlord.  There is much more to this sad tale but they cannot be explored because it will identify the injured party. Bloody mindedness does not come into it.  Come on Cllr Blackburn.  You make much of your socialist ideals.  How about helping the old and disabled without making a political song and dance over it?  Just be a Human Being for once and stop YOUR council from being so awkward and cruel .