Sunday 4 December 2011

It's only words, and words are all they are


[Matt Baker]
Well, Jeremy, schools, hospitals, airports, even driving tests, have all been affected. Do you think the strikes have been a good idea?
[Jeremy Clarkson]
I think they have been fantastic. Absolutely. London today has just been empty. Everybody stayed at home, you can whizz about, restaurants are empty.
[Alex Jones]
The traffic, actually, has been very good today.
[Jeremy Clarkson]
Airports, people streaming through with no problems at all. And it’s also like being back in the 70s. It makes me feel at home somehow.
[Matt Baker]
Do you know anyone who has been on strike today?
[Jeremy Clarkson]
Of course I don’t, no. What, somebody public service? No, I don’t. No, absolutely. But we have to balance this though, because this is the BBC.
[Matt Baker]
Yes, exactly.
[Jeremy Clarkson]
Frankly, I’d have them all shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families. I mean, how dare they go on strike when they have these gilt-edged pensions that are going to be guaranteed while the rest of us have to work for a living.
[Matt Baker]
Well, on that note of balancing an opinion, of course those are Jeremy’s views.
[Alex Jones]
Only Jeremy’s views.
[Jeremy Clarkson]
They’re not. I’ve just given two views for you.

Lieber have ordered all comedy script writers to be taken out and executed, their dead bodies to run Red, their foul mouths to be gagged and their corpses to be drawn and quartered under Halal rules. If you survive that you will be sentenced to a lifetime of listening to Lieber Party politics and forced to read Dodgy Dossiers until they grow out of your demented empty cranium.  Brains removed you will be ready to join the Huhneary party.

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