Saturday 23 May 2015

Private Humour Army Style

Two good old boys, Mick and Paddy, have been promoted from privates to Lance Corporals.

Not long afterward, they're out for a walk and Mick says, "Hey, Paddy, there's the NCO Club; let's you and me step in."

"But we're only privates," protests Paddy.

"We're Lance Corporals now," says Mick, pointing to his stripe and pulling him inside. "Now, Paddy, I'm a-gonna sit down and have me a drink."

"But we're privates," says Paddy.

"You blind, boy?" asks Mick, pointing again at his stripe. "We're Lance Corporals now!"

So they have their drink, and pretty soon one of the Army lasses comes up to Mick.

"You're cute," she says, "and I'd like to date you, but I've got a bad case of gonorrhoea."

Mick pulls his friend to the side and whispers, "Paddy, go look in the dictionary and see what Gonorrhoea means. If it's okay, give me the okay sign."

So Paddy goes to look it up, comes back, and gives Mick the big thumbs up.

Three weeks later Mick is laid up in the infirmary with a terrible case of gonorrhoea. Mick says to Paddy, "Why the hell did you give me the thumbs up?"

"Well Mick, in the dictionary, it says gonorrhoea affects only the privates and we're Lance Corporals now."

Monday 4 May 2015

BBC Radio 5 Live this morning - Victoria Derbyshire



This morning on Radio 5 Live I listened to a slanted debate under the stewardship of Victoria Derbyshire.  Throughout, my main objection to the BBC’s sponsorship of such events is always the slanting of the audience to suit the BBC obvious bias.

Point ONE.  The country is supposedly 90% British with 10 % immigrant or those born of immigrant parents.  If this false assumption is accepted, then it stands to reason that any BBC audience would or should reflect the general population.  This morning’s programme once again reinforce views that Auntie is not in the least bit concerned with representing the British in particular, for a misguided and almost treasonable assumption that it is all in our best interest to have our voiced over-talked by foreigners.

Point TWO.  I am heartily sick of ALL politicians who refer to Irish as immigrants.  Which Irish People do they mean?  The Northern Prodestant or the Southern Catholic?  

If they mean the North Irish, the lovely Ulster Loyalist, the backbone of the British Nation since the 17th Century, then they are fabricating on very boggy ground.  As Whites are being murdered and expelled from African Country after African Country for nothing more than their colour, then the Prodestants of Ulster are being systematically eradicated for their attachments to their religion and culture.  If people really want to go and see what modern Belfast looks like, go and walk along the dividing wall through the city wearing a Union flag on one side, then the Irish tricolour on the reverse.

If they mean the Southern Irish, let them reflect on fact.  When partition was finally accomplished in the South, the Protestant population in that part of the former British Isles was something like 50/50.  The Government of Ireland Act 1920 was passed with no account of the Protestants in the South and subsequently, over the next century, the majority of Southern Protestants have done what will happen to English people.  We witness, without comment, on the ghettoization of immigrant areas, flushed clean of English people by apathy and laws that do not protect the indigenous people.  Sadly there is nowhere safe to escape to outside of these islands with the exception possibly of Canada, New Zealand and Australia for the fearful.

And again, Auntie had a chance to ask why so many, especially Pakistani men, have gratuitously abused the system, our generosity and more vile, our children?  The fact I did not hear Victoria even encroach on this important subject reflects more on the presenter and not on the listener.